When I first decided to travel to South America I had
visions of tropical white sandy beaches filled with tanned hot men with
ponytails drinking Cuba Libres out of coconuts. In reality most of the men I
have come across have large bellies that they like to roll their tee shirt up
and tuck between their man boobs and their proud large round stomachs….. not
the vision I had hoped for! However, the beaches are to die for once you get
past the ‘ psss princesa, hermosa’ or
‘hola Guapa’ or my personal favourite ‘Que rico’ from the passing local
gentlemen. Not all the guys are like this and lets be honest we have our own
fair share of dickheads in the UK, Quito guys are a little more tactful when
your walking in the street but once they open the doors to the guys on Ladies
night……. For the love of god who teaches these boys the most appalling chat up
lines? Oh that’s right me! I have one student who if he does well in class that
week I give him one chat up line in English. For all my Quito girlfriends….. I
am sorry it was me! He loves Friday chat up line time, you have beautiful eyes,
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? ( good use of past tense I feel) and
for this one I am truly sorry but I was running out of the none offensive and
had to pull out this old cracker…… Get your coat you have pulled! I’m
sorry….. But it’s better than the
same old four words that some them only know- Hello Baby, My Love….
As you can tell my dating experiences
are going well here in Quito.
I wanted to check I was not just being unfortunate so asked
some of the girls if they also had these experiences, oh yes and here are their
top Ecuadorian chat ups-
"Gracias
a dios por tu pecho" from a taxi driver. Thank god for your chest.
"Baja
la blusa un poquito mas"
"You
know, I don't like dating Ecuadorian women anymore. I prefer gringas. Wanna
know why?" Me, "not really." Him, " because you have to buy
them dinner and everything. Gringas are so much easier!" Thank you!
I
love when grown men call ‘mi mami’... So Freudian
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